My wonderful wife

Anne,
It's been nearly 5 months since your heart surgery and I want to say how proud I am of you in how far you have come in a short time. (don't be mad, I hacked into your blog!). It seems so long ago that the one doctor scared the both of us with the thought of an aneurysm and that it could be any day you might pass. That night was a shock and I didn't show much emotion other than silence. I held back tears on a lot of occasions. I was trying to show strength and that everything would be fine. When you were struggling walking around and getting tired, I just thought "shes getting older, wait tell you hits my age" I knew something was wrong, when you woke me up that night you passed out in our bathroom and had a bruised forehead. I felt helpless that night as you came in the door and fell in my arms after the mis-diagnosis. My thoughts were" I could help provide for my family and protect them in our household, but fixing a medical issue is something I could not do". I remember becoming frustrated when we were at PRMC and all the test they ran and still couldn't find out why you were desaturating. I did feel hope when they said they were sending you to John's Hopkin's to do more tests because they are the best.

I struggled with emotions of being sad and mad. There wasn't a day that went by thinking about our kids and myself if you were not around. I hated every thought I had about that because you were to always be here. I was supposed to go first, not you. Even though we were coming to know God, I was mad at God for putting my wife thru this. Now that I look back, what an amazing thing God did. The church surrounded us with open arms, meals, and brought us closer to people we never really knew who care about us. Anne, it is amazing the courage you had when going thru 3 surgeries. You know me, a cold puts me on a death bed.

I'm not the greatest with words as you can tell, but I want you to know how amazing you really are. I am proud of you in your knowledge of the medical field and how you are so caring of people you wait on at work who you hardly know. I think it's amazing that 4-5 months after open heart surgery, you are running 4 miles(WOW!!!). I am so proud of who you are and how I have watched you grow since we met. You are a wonderful person and I love you with all my heart(no pun intended).

Thank you for giving us 2 wonderful kids who make life worth living for. You are a great person, a great mother, and an awesome wife. I love you

Love from your husband,

Jamie

P.S. Thanks for doing the clothes today also.