The weekend flew by and Monday came quickly. I had put everything to the back of my mind as best I could. I've actually gotten pretty good at that. I couldn't sleep very well and woke about 4am. I just wanted to respond to some of the beautiful messages I had received and I wanted to see the sun rise. If my tests came back negative it would require a much longer stay than I desired. Luckily, we were able to get the kids up and off to school and we were on our way. On our way as I was sitting there thinking and mentally preparing myself for what was to come I looked out the window and saw a beautiful sight. Was it a sign....you be the judge:) We arrive to Hopkins in record time. I actually always smile to see it. Poor Jamie's face is not the same reflection. I see Hopkins as a place of healing and hope. He sees it as my wife's being tortured and I can't do anything but sit here and wait. It's funny as we go in we don't even talk our bodies just lead the way. I've noticed over the last couple of years Jamie becoming more and more comfortable in a hospital setting. We've even developed a role. He allows me to lead the way in my care and he sits and listens. He knows the proper times when he needs to pull out the humor card and he's learned when I need him to be serious. His timing is getting more and more impeccable. As we are just about to arrive to the floor...Jamie looks at me and sighs. "Anne, I was hoping we'd never come back." In that moment I felt really guilty. I realized he has been going through this too. It's just not my heart and stroke issue...it's his too!
We get off the elevator and it's as if time went back to almost two years ago. Ugh....but the familiar faces helped in my fear. I was led back to prep for a TEE. A TEE is an echo of the heart. Only difference is they go through the esophagus to get a closer picture. Don't worry you're suppose to be asleep. But, for me I'm so curious I rarely ever am. They wanted to take a closer look at my heart vessels and implant. Checking to see if the cause of my stroke was from a blood clot that broke lose from my implant. As each nurse, fellow and doctor read through my chart it never failed: They would read, look up at me, read again, scratch(neck or head) and then with a confused look say, "You had a stroke?" Yup, and here's the MRI to prove it. Sometimes, even saying it twice. In a strange way it makes me proud. I feel as if I conquered a stroke so well that I am not the victim. But, then again I'm reminded how anything can happen at anytime.
I.V was placed and then many questions were asked. I was led to the TEE room and all hooked up. I was recognized by a nurse and the cardiologist doing the procedure. Kinda strange when you're at a hospital as big as J.H.U. The fellow was wonderful and she was shocked at how comfortable I was to allow her to do the procedure. The nurse amazing!! I reassured her before we started that I would be a great patient as long as she explained what they were doing. But, warned her I hate to lose control so I'll be wide awake. She winked...I don't think she believed me. Medicines were administered and I became very comfortable...But awake:) I watched the whole thing just as I had my previous TEEs. They all were chuckling in dismay. The last couple of pictures are in fact very uncomfortable so I squeezed hard and the nurse and attending MD responded by holding my hand and stroking my hair. Reassuring me. You truly value the presence of touch in those circumstances. I don't care who you are. As the last pictures were taken they dosed me with enough medication that I was finally out. It was just what I needed!!
I had won the award for most awake patient during any TEE procedure Jamie was told. He responded with, "Yup, that's my girl!"
I was told my implant was functioning beautifully and intact. Yes!!!!!! One hurdle has been passed! I was suppose to be seen by a neurologist but my case is a simple one in JHH eyes. Nothing that can't be managed locally. They did say based on my MRI record, that the bleeding was stable and that it was very small in nature. I was told that nothing could be done in a week and half's time anyway. We needed to give my body time to hopefully absorb any residual blood left. What a relief!! There were a lot of worse case scenarios possible for yesterday and the outcome of yesterday could not have gone any better. Today I called my primary cardiologist and his response was, "Such awesome news! You've answered my prayers!" Now, that is why I value him so very much! So, that's my update! I will be seeing a neurologist very soon to get more in depth information about my brain injury(no jokes..lol) and praying no blood has remained. Although, besides my hand that is getting stronger each day and a few jumbled words. I feel amazing!! So, yes...I'm a 33year old woman that has had a STROKE. But, my life will go on just as it did before and I will be loving each and every single moment of it!! Love all of you that support and help me be a better person in life!
Picture taken right after TEE...finally out cold:)
We get off the elevator and it's as if time went back to almost two years ago. Ugh....but the familiar faces helped in my fear. I was led back to prep for a TEE. A TEE is an echo of the heart. Only difference is they go through the esophagus to get a closer picture. Don't worry you're suppose to be asleep. But, for me I'm so curious I rarely ever am. They wanted to take a closer look at my heart vessels and implant. Checking to see if the cause of my stroke was from a blood clot that broke lose from my implant. As each nurse, fellow and doctor read through my chart it never failed: They would read, look up at me, read again, scratch(neck or head) and then with a confused look say, "You had a stroke?" Yup, and here's the MRI to prove it. Sometimes, even saying it twice. In a strange way it makes me proud. I feel as if I conquered a stroke so well that I am not the victim. But, then again I'm reminded how anything can happen at anytime.
I.V was placed and then many questions were asked. I was led to the TEE room and all hooked up. I was recognized by a nurse and the cardiologist doing the procedure. Kinda strange when you're at a hospital as big as J.H.U. The fellow was wonderful and she was shocked at how comfortable I was to allow her to do the procedure. The nurse amazing!! I reassured her before we started that I would be a great patient as long as she explained what they were doing. But, warned her I hate to lose control so I'll be wide awake. She winked...I don't think she believed me. Medicines were administered and I became very comfortable...But awake:) I watched the whole thing just as I had my previous TEEs. They all were chuckling in dismay. The last couple of pictures are in fact very uncomfortable so I squeezed hard and the nurse and attending MD responded by holding my hand and stroking my hair. Reassuring me. You truly value the presence of touch in those circumstances. I don't care who you are. As the last pictures were taken they dosed me with enough medication that I was finally out. It was just what I needed!!
I had won the award for most awake patient during any TEE procedure Jamie was told. He responded with, "Yup, that's my girl!"
I was told my implant was functioning beautifully and intact. Yes!!!!!! One hurdle has been passed! I was suppose to be seen by a neurologist but my case is a simple one in JHH eyes. Nothing that can't be managed locally. They did say based on my MRI record, that the bleeding was stable and that it was very small in nature. I was told that nothing could be done in a week and half's time anyway. We needed to give my body time to hopefully absorb any residual blood left. What a relief!! There were a lot of worse case scenarios possible for yesterday and the outcome of yesterday could not have gone any better. Today I called my primary cardiologist and his response was, "Such awesome news! You've answered my prayers!" Now, that is why I value him so very much! So, that's my update! I will be seeing a neurologist very soon to get more in depth information about my brain injury(no jokes..lol) and praying no blood has remained. Although, besides my hand that is getting stronger each day and a few jumbled words. I feel amazing!! So, yes...I'm a 33year old woman that has had a STROKE. But, my life will go on just as it did before and I will be loving each and every single moment of it!! Love all of you that support and help me be a better person in life!
Picture taken right after TEE...finally out cold:)
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